*If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
* Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away, he'll be barefoot, and you’ll have his shoes.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
* Well-endowed women of a certain age find that going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of their faces.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
* If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
* Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
* Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
* No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
* If I were in your shoes, my feet would probably hurt.
* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
* Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away, he'll be barefoot, and you’ll have his shoes.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
* Well-endowed women of a certain age find that going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of their faces.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
* If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
* Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
* Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
* No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
* If I were in your shoes, my feet would probably hurt.
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